With more and more press covering women and minority issues in the workplace, imposter syndrome has become a buzzword. Feeling that you have to constantly prove your skill set and expertise to make you worthy of a certain position or role somehow feels more palatable in this linguistic packaging but to me highlights the fundamental problem. The problem is we have allowed the label for this feeling of inadequacy to cover for our inability to face the uncertainties along the way to becoming the people we envision ourselves to be. We let imposter syndrome define the list of reasons why we feel challenged or are not getting what we want from our current job or career space. However, the use of the phrase imposter syndrome in this way is a complementary pair to oppression. By mentally putting yourself in the victim’s role, you are not acknowledging your power nor evaluating those you hold in high esteem against their merit. This is where I feel the term imposter syndrome holds us to inaction and covers for our fear and failure to act in a meaningful way. You may be the one holding yourself back.

Do you often find yourself in a state of fear or awe for someone? Ask yourself why does someone scare or inspire awe in you. Is it their title, their money, their personality, or achievement? If that person did not have their distinguished title, yet constantly downplayed their coworkers’ contributions, caused extra work, and contributed whenever they felt like it—would you perhaps not title them asshole? If that person did not have plentiful money, would they be such an illustrious social figure? They may be instead viewed as an extravagant fool with hardly an original thought. Think of all the celebrity brands that have a team behind them who are experts at design, public relations, and brand strategy. Close your eyes, hear what that person is saying, watch what they do. Are they really all that great and aspirational? Check who you seek to emulate or are looking for approval from next time you think you need to prove your worth or validate your qualification to be where you are or level up.

Reality check yourself. Take the time to see and hear where you are having a substantial impact. And don’t just let this inventory be when you get a pat on the head from someone else. Notice—are you naturally able to form alliances with strangers? Are you someone who takes amazing photos and engages a lot of your followers on social media? How about someone who has a knack for hospitality or for finding ingenious ways to fix common problems? I do a lot of listening to experts in the marketing field. One of the common themes I hear is: Define what makes your product unique. Having a clear vision of the specific ways your product is important and unique is a defining trait of many successful entrepreneurial companies. If you are just trying to prove that you are worthy and your focus is on meeting the expectations of a predefined idea—what else should you expect but to grind along with the rest of the obedient individuals who never said to themselves: “What if I just did “it”? What if I defined what the ideal ‘x’ looks like in this company? What if I took the time to improve my ‘x’ skill set and do ‘x’ with it?

Ask yourself who you are seeking approval from, evaluate your skills, and then choose to face the uncertainty you are feeling. Find ways to overcome your doubt. Settling into your doubts can lead to thinking you do not have enough. This can be a type of self-oppression when in fact you do have resources to start with. Living in this attitude of scarcity can lead us to act defensively or spend our energy in a way that is focused on protecting our hard-won assets rather than growing. We spend our energy keeping the peace and an eye on our current stockpile because we fear to tip the balance, even if it means attempting something that leads to exponential growth. Choose courage. As one of my favorite quotes from writer, Heather Havriklesky, puts it:

The question of your worthiness is not on the table at all. You know what you want. Embrace that and stand up for it without huffing the spray paint that everyone else is huffing.

Stop huffing the spray paint. Get out of your own way.

As you ask yourself these questions and practice courage, also begin to notice the people around you who use repressive behaviors as a way to define their value. Watch out for people who like to make you think you need them. Sure, it may be comfortable to stay in that dynamic, but do you really need them? Are they helping you grow and be the person you want to be? If you have done the work to inspect your role models, reality check against real performance indicators, and educate yourself, yet still are being downplayed, overlooked, or otherwise discounted—leave. Find someone or somewhere else. If you truly have those skills and are willing to put in the work, you will find a way. Flip surviving on its head and make yourself crucial to the landscape. Do not do whatever “it” is to prove a point. Do it for you, because you can, because you work hard. You will not fail because failing is when you let other people tell you where your place is in the market, in the corporate structure, and at large. Imposter syndrome is a linguistic reality, but how it plays out in your life is a mental construct that you must choose to define.